~ Day 15 ~ Strength

Yesterday the doctor gave me a reprieve on a couple of the meds that make me the sickest so that I could drive up to Salinas for the memorial. However, it came with the promise that I'd pay for it twice as bad today. He did not lie. I had horrible shakes yesterday and was super weak. The get up-sit down pace of the Lutheran church wasn't playing nicely with this combo but clearly I made it through. This morning brought another dosage increase that hit my body like a wave of tar. It rendered me unable to move, the leg pain was so terrible it made me vomit on it's own. I, for more than any sane person should, contemplated what method best to cut them off. I came to the conclusion I'd use whatever was handy. I knew that this needed to pass because I had some dear friends coming over in the afternoon. I mustered my strength to take a shower and approximately 2 hours later, was dressed. I was quite proud of myself but.......exhausted. This is true for everyday since the beginning of treatment. But what is amazing is that my strength isn't coming from within. It's coming from my beautiful friends who bring their energy and their positivity to me every day. Their love is better than any medicine a chemist can dream of. They bring me strength with their stories that make me laugh, make things normal again and give me hope for the future. I have said it to everyone that thank you doesn't even begin to express my gratitude. I hope you all know that you are my strength, my hope, my light.
~ still climbing mountains ~