I went to bed in tears last night. Woke up in tears
this morning. And cried all damn day. Wouldn't have been so bad if the
day wasn't spent at work. I looked like death warmed over and
re-fried. I hurt so bad and was completely worn out by 9am.
Emotionally I'm finding it harder and harder to keep positive. I have
to will myself through each minute and hour of the day more so than ever
before. I finally had to have the talk with HR today that this
treatment is kicking my butt and I don't know what the coming weeks are
going to be like. Hard to be ambiguous but I really have no way of
predicting anything. Thankfully, they are super understanding and will
be flexible so on that front I have one less worry.
I got
smart a few weeks ago and bought the boys some new toys and games. I've
been bringing them out sporadically and surprising them. It has proven
to be a nice distraction from the day to day ups and downs. I think
Bennett spent about 6 hours yesterday coloring with his Crayola Color
Wonder stuff. I'll keep these drawings forever.
Connor has been fortunate to get to spend 4 hours every Sunday for the
last few weeks with his Big Brother Jay. That relationship is growing
quiet beautifully.
There's no guarantee tomorrow will be better but at least I know each day prepares me a little more to get through the next.
~ still climbing mountains ~
No comments:
Post a Comment